“Love your wives and be not bitter against them” (Col. 3:19).  It will take time for wives to grow in submission (Col. 3:19), but husbands need to remember that the command to obey is for the wife to submit and NOT for the husband to force her to submit.

Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it and love their wives as their own bodies (Eph. 5:25-28).  Putting yourself, your work, or anything else ahead of her is not consistent with this command.  The goal is to encourage (not demand) the wife to grow to be holy and without blemish (spiritually).  This love requires time, attention and a sincere concern for her physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being.

The wisdom that is from above is gentle, peaceable, and easy to be entreated (James 3:17).  God told Abraham to listen to Sarah.  Changing one’s mind is not a sign of weakness (Gen 21:12).


Obey your husbands as it is fit in the Lord (Col 3:18).  What is “fit” is for wives to be subject to their husbands “in every thing” as the church is to Christ (Eph. 5:22-24).  The only exception would be if he commanded her to disobey God (Acts 5:29).  The husband’s authority is in matters of judgment.  Submitting only when you agree with him or think he knows what he’s talking about is not submission.

A woman merely having short hair is a dishonor to her husband (1 Cor. 11:5).  How serious then are rebellious words and deeds towards him?

“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that makes ashamed is as rottenness in his bones” (Prov. 12:4).



Train your children; don’t discourage them.  “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged” (Col 3:21).  “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).

God puts the responsibility on the fathers for how the children are raised.  Fathers need to be actively involved in the rearing (training) of their children.  Providing for them physically is important, but the main job is to train them (Prov. 22:6).


Mothers have a responsibility to train children too.  “Train up a child in the  way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Pro. 22:6).  Love your children, be keepers at home (Titus 2:4-5). “Keepers at home” literally means, “house guard”; not just guarding their bodies, but most importantly, their souls (Study Proverbs 31:10-31 in depth).

Mothers have to learn from older Christian women how to have Gods love towards their children: this means they have to learn how to train the children the right way.  “The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed (Titus 2:3-5).

Timothy 5:14 tells mothers they are to literally be the “house despots.”  However, there should be one law (one set of rules) in the house, which flows from God, through the father, through the mother, and to the children (Prov. 6:20).  This requires much advance planning, discussion and praying by husbands and wives.  The mother is the enforcer of the family laws while the head of the house is away. Mothers who leave their children to themselves will be brought to shame (Prov. 29:15).


“Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord” (Col. 3:20).  Compare with Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right” (Eph. 6:1).  Obeying parents lasts for a few years; honoring them lasts a lifetime (1 Tim. 5:4816).

The Power of a Good Heart

The power of God is found in our hearts.  He shows us that our mouths speak “out of the abundance of the heart” (Matt. 12:34).  Look at the power of the heart!  Most of us have much evil in our hearts.  The heart is the source of the evil and good that we do. “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.  For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies” (Matt. 15:18, 19).  The evil abides in the heart and is manifested when the temptation arises.  It is our responsibility to remove all of this evil out of our hearts.  He command us to: “Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded” (James 4:8).

Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry.  But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth (Col. 3:5, 8).

It is also our responsibility to renew the new man we put on in baptism:

And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him: Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all.  Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering (Col. 3:10-12).

We have put on Christ (Gal. 3:27) which is our ‘new man.’  The ways he commands us to put on (above) are all part of the love of Christ, which is growing in his image.  If all of the evil is taken out of our hearts and the love of Christ is put into our hearts, our mouths will speak from the abundance of hearts like Christ’s heart.  Our actions will naturally follow our tongues, for the tongue is the bridle or rudder for the whole body (James 3:3-5).  There is great power if the perfect love is in the heart.  Those with the perfect love do not err in word (James 3:2).  His heart controls his tongue because his heart has been formed with all of the parts of Christ’s love.  That same man is  “. . . able also to bridle the whole body also” (James 3:2).  When would we not obey God if our hearts are full of Jesus love and we are able to bridle the whole body?  If we are unfaithful in the least, we will be faithful in much (Luke 16:10-12). Why?  If our heart is faithful, whether we have little or much, we will be faithful.  God’s power in our hearts is found in the love of Christ!

Consider two examples of the power of a good heart.  God testifies to David’s heart – “I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after mine own heart, which shall fulfil all my will” (Acts 13:33). David’s heart was formed and thus he was able to fulfill all of God’s will.  God inspired David to write: “I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. O when wilt thou come unto me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart” (Psa. 101:2). David would have to have a complete heart because he was a man after God’s own heart–and God’s heart is surely complete!  We need to remember that David was not born with a complete heart.  No doubt this Psalm was written toward the end of his life.  After David died, God gave him a tremendous testimony concerning the power of his heart:

Because David did that which was right in the eyes of the LORD, and turned not aside from any thing that he commanded him all the days of his life, save only in the matter of Uriah the Hittite (1 King 15:5).

With the one exception, David did what was right and did not turn aside from anything God commanded him all the days of his life (1 Kings 15:5).  Who could claim that sort of record but Christ himself!  Some scorn David because of the horrible sin he had, but do they have a record where they have not turned aside from any command all the days of their lives except for one lapse?  There are different degrees of temptation.  We have the promise now that we will not be tempted above what we are able.  David did not have that promise.  Peter was sifted like wheat, and Jesus knew he would fall (Luke 22:31).  The promise not to be tempted above what we are able was written after Peter was sifted like wheat.  How strong was David’s temptation?  We will not know until Judgment Day.  Others claim that God’s testimony is false,  and that David did sin more than in the matter of Uriah the Hittite.  Keep in mind the statement: David did not turn aside from “any thing that he commanded him.”  When David counted the people, his heart smote him.  This was not something God had commanded him to do or not to do.  There was no law about counting or not counting the people in the Old Law, which David was under.  Sin is transgression of law.  If there is no law, sin is not imputed (Rom. 5:13).  We must walk by faith.  God made the statement above, and we need to trust God enough to believe it.  David has a marvelous record, because he has a marvelous heart after God’s own heart.

The Lord testifies: “For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body” (James 3:2).  This is a marvelous statement.  The phrase in this scripture, “If any man,” would include Job.  God testified that Job was a perfect man, not once but three times, and one of those was to the Devil himself (Job 1:8).  If it were not true, Satan would have contradicted God.  But he did not.  Satan knew that Job was perfect.  We would expect Job not to offend in word according to the definition in James 3:2.  God gives Job this very testimony: “In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly” (Job 1:22).  Even after Satan removed all of his possessions and flooded him with boils, God testifies: “In all this did not Job sin with his lips” (Job 2:10).  Keep in mind that God said that “If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man. . .” (James 3:2).  Some, like Job’s friends, would accuse Job of sinning, but there was no proof except their allegations.  In the end, Elihu was angry with the three friends because they could not answer Job (Job 32:1-3).  The worst that Job did (or came close to doing) was to condemn God and dis-annul his judgment (Job 40:8). Sin is transgression of God’s law.  Job lived long before the Old Testament law, and even if he were under the law, there is no such command not to dis-annul God’s judgment.  God did not accuse Job, but asked him if that were what he was doing (Job 40:8).  In the end, God himself justified Job:

And it was so, that after the LORD had spoken these words unto Job, the LORD said to Eliphaz the Temanite, My wrath is kindled against thee, and against thy two friends: for ye have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job hath.  Therefore take unto you now seven bullocks and seven rams, and go to my servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and my servant Job shall pray for you: for him will I accept: lest I deal with you after your folly, in that ye have not spoken of me the thing which is right, like my servant Job (Job 42:7-8).

Truly David and Job are examples of the power of a good heart.

Look at the hope of glory!  The hope of glory is to have the eternal marvelous and beautiful love of Christ in our own hearts.  (Col. 1:26, 27)!  Love never fails (1 Cor. 13:8).  God is love.  God is eternal.  His love is eternal.  What is unseen is eternal.  If we grow in that love, we grow in what is unseen and thus in was is eternal (1 Cor. 4:18).  If we do not grow in that love, but keep the hatred and/or evil we have in our hearts, those unseen things will also last eternally.  If we grow in the heart of Christ, we will have that love forever and ever.  If we inherit the new body and a new mansion in heaven, and have the heart of Satan, what can God expect?  “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Matt. 12:34).  God can expect us to speak evil from the abundance of an evil heart. Heaven will not be heaven if we arrive there with an evil heart.  There is no glory to having an evil heart or even an empty heart.  If we are filled with the heart of Christ we will surely be faithful as Christ was faithful (He 3:1,2).  It is no wonder that “perfect love” gives boldness on the day of judgment and casts out all fear (1 John 4:18).  The heart of Christ is truly the hope of glory (Col. 1:26, 27).  There is a way to overcome the world!  There is a way to obey all the commands of God.


Once a person had been raised to walk in the new life, his pathway was directed to become like the master (Luke 6: 40).  He must grow the way the master determines, not way he would like to grow.   There are two possible ways in which one can grow to the be “like Christ;” one correct and the other false.  The first way a man can be like Christ is to do the same deeds and outward actions he did.  This would be to imitate Christ. Jesus helped the sick and poor.  We can imitate the same deeds.  This is following Christ on the outward man.  We can follow this pathway of imitating Jesus’ outward actions even to the point of giving our bodies to be burned.  However, if our inner man is not first formed in love, there is no profit (1 Cor. 13:1-3).

The second way we can follow in the pathway to grow into Christ’s spiritual image in heart and mind.  Jesus called men to follow him by learning of his meek and lowly heart (Matt. 11:28-30).  Paul prayed that the Ephesians would grow to be like Christ on the inner man (Eph. 3:14-19).  The Pharisees did not consider their eternal inner nature and so could not follow Christ (Matt. 23:23-28).  Jesus requires the formation of the eternal inner man first (Matt. 23:26).

Today we have those who have made an agreement to follow “in his steps.”  Their lives become very different. They begin to walk in Jesus steps.  Their outward actions are generally ‘as Jesus would do.’  They “outwardly appear righteous unto men” (Matt. 23:28).  Before they make any decision they ask “WWJD,” which is “What would Jesus do?” and then do it.  They are not hearers only.  The aim is toward the outward action that Jesus would have done in their same situation. Is the change permanent?  Sadly enough, this is not New Testament discipleship.

These souls believe that by doing good things, the heart will then become good.  If that were true – the Pharisees would have been clean and pure in heart.  Jesus testified that the Pharisees “indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanness” (Matt. 23:27).  Outwardly their actions were righteous. If their outward righteousness had made them inwardly righteous, then the Pharisees would have been pure in heart.  Jesus testifies that the Pharisees aimed to make certain that their outward actions were pleasing to men (Matt. 23:5).  They succeeded.  Jesus testified that their hearts had not been formed in righteousness say that (Mt 23:27, 28).  These WWJD men today make certain their outward actions are correct.  Is that enough?  Jesus testified that it was not enough for the Pharisee.  Jesus declared that the inner man must be formed first.  How many do not make the conclusion that if we just do the work of faith and labor of love on the outward man, that this will in turn form the inner man?  That method is a mistaken notion.  It did not work for the Pharisee.  The problem was that their hearts were not right and doing the outward actions did not change their hearts.  Jesus said: “Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also”  (Matt. 23:26).

First things must come first.  We all know that giving our bodies to be burned without first forming love in the inner man is of no profit to God or to us.  Unless we form that love in the inner man first, all of our ‘walking in his steps’ will avail little.  How, then, is the inner man formed?